Blood Rose


What is it that I'm not doing right? I don't know. Life just feels like a big blank slate on which I'm supposed to write with chalk my achievements. But such things feel worthless or meaningless when I see others enjoying life as something more than just a slate. To them, it's like a colourful animated world in four dimensions, not a flat black and white picture.

Yet why is it that some people like me are chosen to be on the dark side of luck, to be on the boring side of life, to live this short time that equals less than the blink of God's eyelids with no meaning or reason? Is there luck waiting in the future for me, to hit me with a massive amazing blow? One so huge that even I wouldn't be able to believe it? I wonder.

Well, all I can really do is nothing but wonder. And hope.

But does luck and fortune really exist? Some would deny the existence of luck and say things that can't be determined beforehand happen by chance, not luck.

Luck and chance are essentially the same thing - one a religious term, while the other is scientific. One would say Mahjongg is a game of luck, while to another, it's a game of chance.

Okay, why am I teaching you - whoever you are - English? I should be talking about how luck, or chance, is badly lacking in my life.

If I want something, I must work for it. Sometimes I want the wrong things, things I don't need, things I shouldn't want. Other times, I want the right things, but do the wrong work to get them. Where is the ultimate guidance I can ask for?

[Most of the above typed in phone while travelling today. The title and the picture has nothing to do with it.]


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